day 2 after the surgery was much like day 1. lots of waiting. lots of standing next to the bed staring at our sweet baby. wishing with everything i have that i could pick her up and hold her. the surgeon determined she needed another day of rest so she remained on the paralytic for another 24 hours. baby steps. as the day wore on, they slowing started to back off some of the meds. when we went to bed they had bumped her oxygen down to 55 and we were hopeful it would be down to 50 by morning.
day 3 i woke up hopeful that we would see some real progress. my hope was crushed when we got downstairs and saw that her oxygen was back up to 60, as well as her peep having been bumped up from 5 to 7. her right lung did not look that great in the xray and they needed to work to clear that up before they tried to wean her off the oxygen. although the doctor assured us she was doing great, i couldn't help but feel we had taken a step backwards. she also had a frightening episode when her breathing tube got clogged by mucous. she started flailing and alarms started sounded. nurses rushed over and called other nurses over. doctors were called. it was cleared up within a matter of minutes, but a scary reminder of what a fragile state our little one is in. they continued to slowly wean her off meds and for the first time since surgery our little girl saw us. her eyes fluttered open and blinked as she studied our faces. her little eyebrows furrowed and i can only imagine what she must have been thinking. then she starting crying. a pitiful silent cry as her vocal chords are blocked by the ventilator. no noise came out, but i know exactly what she was saying. my heart broke as we walked away so she wouldn't get too upset. she wanted her mommy & daddy to pick her up. the nurse had to give her more sedative to calm her down as tears streamed down my face. although we are taking baby steps forward, these days are not easy. thank you for your continued prayer for a quick and healthy recovery.