Wednesday, June 1, 2011

days 4,5.

day 4 after the surgery [day 5 in the hospital] was another heartbreaking day. our little girl was finally awake, but we could not pick her up to comfort her. she cried quite a bit and i wanted to crawl into her bed and hold her. she still had her ventilator in and it was so pitiful to see her crying with no sound behind the cry. she made big steps in weaning off the oxygen and they told us the ventilator would likely be out the next day.
day 5, as we rounded the corner into the bay the doctor announced we were just in time to see the ventilator come out. although this was an exciting accomplishment, it was heartbreaking to watch...and a rather traumatic start to the day. they counted down and the tube came out quickly, however the next moments felt like an eternity as we watched for her to take her first breaths. the nurse pounded her back, encouraging her to breath while another suctioned her mouth. she choked and gagged and let out a silent wail. they assured us she was breathing and she would be quite hoarse for a bit. they moved us from the bay to a private room, located right around the corner, still in the CPICU. it was a nice change...quieter, a couch to sit on, our own bathroom. we had another scare when her heart rate dropped while she was sleeping. the monitor alarmed and i watched the red number flashing. after nurses & doctors studied her rates, they assured us it was totally normal and she was doing fine. as i sat on the couch staring at my little trooper, i thought about how ready i was to go home. how glad i would be when this week was finally behind us. this challenged me to look for the beauty in today, to focus on something i was grateful for. that beauty is captured in the picture above. the nurse showed me that i could hold fabs on my shoulder, even with the ridiculous trail of cords, tubes and wires. it was like holding her for the first time. maybe even better. "it feels so good", i whispered to justin. me and my baby, chest to chest just 5 days after open heart surgery. later on, justin sat down to hold her and i told him he had to try putting her on his shoulder. after we twisted and twirled and tucked cords and tubes and wires, he gently lifted her to his shoulder. he let out a contented laugh. fabs snuggled into her daddy's shoulder.
and it hit me...we were all here.
and i am entirely grateful.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34


  1. God is faithful!!! Our family is so blessed!!! Love you guys so much!!

  2. God is good. I'm so glad you got to snuggle your little Faba, such a beautiful picture.

  3. It brings tears to my eyes just looking at the pictures. What a blessing to be able to hold her again.

  4. I am so glad to read that your little daughter is off the ventilator! My heart goes out to you during this rough time. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you!

  5. Praise the Lord for the amazing progress Fabs has made in just these few short days (even though they may have seemed quite long to you)!! What a blessing to be able to hold her again!! We'll continue to pray for the next big milestone of bringing her home. "What a day of rejoicing that will be!"

    Love and prayers!

  6. CMEO (crying my eyes out) What a beautiful family moment that you just related! Thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share. God is enriching you enormously, and using you to touch lives! Thank you!

  7. She is beautiful, so thankful you are on this side of surgery and hoping that life will soon return to normal. Thoughts and prayers tonight.. thanks for sharing!

  8. We love you guys and miss you. I am moved and challenged each time I read your blog. You three really are an inspiration.
    How little I thank God and how much He has given us. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Steph Savage

  9. so wonderful to see you guys holding her today!
    *happy tears*

  10. What a beautiful post and such a sweet moment captured in that picture.